Space Jammin'/Transcript

(Laney and Kon are iside of the garage watching a commercial for Sludgefest.) Laney: This rots. Sludgefest is the biggest and best festival of the year and we’re sitting here doing nothing while The Newmans are playing it. Kon: Yeah I know! Their our worst enemies and they’re getting more popularity than us! This might be fatal for the reputation of Grojband. Laney: The one who’s going to be the most affected by this is Corey. Kon: I just hope Corey’s gotten over it by now. (Kin is building a machine) Kin: Have no worries you guys. Right now I’m working on an invention that will allow Corey to forget the whole thing. I call it, the Memory Eraser 5000. It’s a memory erasing machine that will allow Corey to lose the memories of this moment. Laney: That’s a metal hammer. Kin: All it takes is one whack … uh … “treatment” and like magic, Corey’s bad memories will be all gone. Laney: Don’t worry about it Kin, Corey has probably forgotten about it already. He’ll be perfectly okay. It’s not like he’s going to go crazy or anything. (Corey busts into the garage riding a corn plow at super high speed) Corey: Hey there everybody! Check out what I got. Laney: “Treat” him twice. Kin: Corey, why do you have a corn plow in here? Corey: Well Kin, I think that I have a perfect idea for a way to play music today and become more awesome than the Newmans. Laney: And … what is that going to be? Corey: If we can’t play at Sludgefest, We’ll just play music in the corn crop right next to it instead and this baby is going to help us mow down a little place for us to build our own stage, set up our music there, and outrock the Newmans with our amazing music! Laney: Uhh … Core? First of all, we don’t even have lyrics for a new song, and second of all, do you think that it’s actually … legal to do what you’re doing? You don’t own the corn crop next to it, you most likely stole that corn plow, and we could really get in some trouble for playing music that can be heard at Sludgefest after our request to play there was officially denied. Corey: Well, I have a reasonable argument to the third thing you said. Laney: Ugh. Corey: Hey, I have a reasonable argument to the third thing you said Lanes. Kon: You’ve got to give him some credit for that Laney. Kin: Yeah. It’s a good start. Laney: Alright Corey, what is it? Corey: If we play music that can be heard there, it’ll be kind of like a battle of the bands, and we’re going to be the winners. Now who’s with me!? (Trina walks into the room) Trina: There is like, absolutely no way you guys are going to play at Sludgefest today. Corey: Trina? What are you doing here? I thought you were waiting in line to get into Sludgefest with Nick and Mina. Trina: I’m here for a bathroom break. Corey: You came all the way here for a bathroom break? You couldn’t have just used one of the bathrooms there. Trina: No. Those Port-A-Puddles are fine for Mina, but not a lady. Corey: You left Mina alone with Nick? (Gasp) What is he falls in love with her? Trina: (Gasp) (Trina’s imagination shows Mina and Nick in the line for Sludgefest) Nick: Nick Mallory’s waited a long time to be cool in front of only you. Mina: Oh Nick you’re the sweetest. I’m so glad Trina left us … alone. (Imagination ends with) Trina: NOOOOOOO! Corey: Oh well, I guess Nick is never going to go out with you and is going to be with Mina instead and to make things even worse, you’re going to have to put up with us winning the battle of the bands at Sludgefest! (Corey honks the horn on the corn plow and Kin, Kon, and Laney get in) Corey: Hear the horn, time to mow corn. Sorry you’ll never get your date sis, I wish I had more time to pretend I’m actually sorry when I’m really not, but I’ve gotta go and mow some corn. See ya! Trina: I HATE YOU COREY! (Trina throws a wrench in the engine and it makes the corn plow go insane) Corey/Kin/Kon/Laney: AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! (Corey, Kin, Kon, and Laney all go flying out of the garage on the corn plow) Trina: I love sabotage. It’s such a great way for me to get whatever I want. (Corey, Kin, Kon, and Laney are in the cornfield and the corn plow is mowing the corn in a bunch of different random ways. They all fall off and it still keeps going) Corey: Wow that was fun. Kin: Hey look at how good it’s doing at mowing everything. Laney: Too bad it’s not in a straight line. Corey: Come on Lanes, it’s mowing the corn for us. What mower do you want? Laney: That’s a coin in the pun jar. (A coin goes into the pun jar) Background Voice: PUN JAR! Kon: The field is going to look great after it’s done mowing. Corey: It sure is Kon. It’s going to look better than it does at Sludgefest but that’s not saying much though. (It shows a cutaway to how messy and scummy Sludgefest is. Kin: I wonder what the field looks like from outer space. (A U.F.O. Lands on the ground and some space orbs come out) Kon: It’s happening! G’ORB: Hello there, my name is G’ORB and this is my band. We are the Orbomellions and we come from the planet Orbon! Laney: Whoa! What are these things? Kon: Umm … their aliens obviously Captain Einstein. Kin: Didn’t he like … just tell us who they were? Corey: Oh wow real live aliens cool! Hi, I’m Corey and these are my friends Kin, Kon, and Laney. We’re all in a band together called Grojband. G’ORB: I see. Well, this is my band called The Orb Experience. We have come to your planet because we saw your challenge for a battle of the bands and we accept! Corey: Challenge battle of the what now? G’ORB: Challenge for the battle of the bands. We saw your challenge and we accept. Now we’re going to have a battle of the bands. Corey: Um … I’m sorry but I don’t know what you’re talking about. We never challenged you guys to a battle of the bands. G’ORB: What are you talking about? Your challenge is written right in here in the earth crop you call corn! (G’ORB shows them a picture of the corn crop that the mower was in and it shows an alien corn crop that happened there.) G’ORB: This is the universal symbol for an interplanetary battle of the bands is it not? Corey: Wow … we made that with the corn plow? G’ORB: YES! YES YOU DID! Now we, The Orb Experience, a band made up of us four orbs, G’ORB, T’ORB, Z’ORB, and N’ORB accept your challenge for a battle of the bands and we’re ready to rock your world! Corey: Okay well that’s kinda weird. Anyway, we don’t really want to have a battle of the bands and that corn crop symbol was all on accident and it just coincidentally turned out looking like the battle of the bands thing. G’ORB: So you’re saying that you just managed to accidentally mow a corn crop that happens to bear perfect resemblance of the universally notorious request for an interplanetary battle of the bands. T’ORB: I think they might actually be serious about this G’ORB. G’ORB: Are you kidding me T’ORB? How could they just accidentally happen to do this? How can a coincidence like this just happen to happen? T’ORB: We travel all across the universe G’ORB. The universe is infinite and there are possible contingencies for anything to happen for instance, a perfectly accurate coincidence to happen, like this one for instance. Corey: Yep, that’s exactly what happened. So, sorry about the misunderstanding, but we don’t really want a battle of the bands. We already have another battle of the bands on our hands so we can’t accept this. G’ORB: I can’t believe you made us come all this way just so that we could hear that this is all some sort of a joke! Corey: It’s not a joke. Honestly, it’s just a coincidence. It was all unintentional and not meant to be a prank or joke of any sorts at all. G’ORB: FINE! You know what? I understand. It was all just an accident. Probably for the best. You would have been defeated anyway. This is better to heed your stupid, wimpy, puny human fear. Corey: HEY! NOTHING ABOUT MY STUPID WIMPY HUMAN FEAR IS PUNY! G’ORB: No Corey, I think that you’re stupid wimpy human fear is puny. Corey: NO IT’S NOT G’ORB! IT’S HUGE! MY STUPID WIMPY HUMAN FEAR IS HUGE! I HAVE A HUGE STUPID WIMPY HUMAN FEAR! G’ORB: Then how about you prove it in a battle of the bands? Corey: Fine! I will! It’s on! G’ORB: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh and also, a rule about these interplanetary battles of the bands is that whoever loses get’s their world destroyed in an apocalyptic wrath! So I hope you’re ready to lose Corey! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (G’ORB leaves in the U.F.O. and blasts off into outer space) Laney: Destroy the world? What did you do? We don’t even have lyrics! We are so toast! (Inside of the U.F.O.) T’ORB: What did you do? We don’t even have lyrics! We are so glankshnargle! Z’ORB: Oh, you always have to play the big bad alien accepting challenges. Challenges we always lose! N’ORB: How are we going to play musical instruments without meat limbs? Z’ORB: Yeah! We’re all just a bunch of floating orbs without any limbs or appendages! No arms, no legs, NO NOTHING! What are we going to do? T’ORB: And what about lyrics? Humans do not flax the way us orbs do. They use words! N’ORB: And we have no limbs so that means no mouths! We can’t use words! Z’ORB: Yeah. We are totally glankshnargle. G’ORB: Not necessarily. We can still win this battle of the bands. N’ORB: How? G’ORB: I’ve got a crazy plan that just might work. N’ORB: Oh you always say that but whenever you do, your plan always ends up failing! G’ORB: Yeah but this time is different N’ORB. This time, I really want this to work! N’ORB: Isn’t that the same thing you want all of the other times you have a crazy plan that just might work? A crazy plan that always fails!? G’ORB: Just hear me out N’ORB. You’ll really like my plan. N’ORB: What is it G’ORB? G’ORB: It is abduction time! (Corey, Kin, Kon, and Laney are walking in the cornfield) Laney: And those are the top 20 reasons why this is a bad idea. Corey: But they have home planet advantage Lanes. They don’t even have hands. They’re just a bunch of floating balls of space stuff. They have no arms, no legs, no limbs whatsoever. I highly doubt they’ll even be able to play instruments like that. (Kon is walking behind them and he starts to get abducted by the U.F.O.) N’ORB: So your plan is to abduct one of the members of Grojband, and make them tell you how to get lyrics, and then possess the bodies of some other people to get limbs and play instruments like that? G’ORB: Yep. That’s about it in a nutshell. N’ORB: Something seems to be wrong with the abduct-o circle. G’ORB: Yeah! The force of the abduct-o circle isn’t strong enough to carry this guy. I wonder who’s fault that is, Z’ORB! Z’ORB: Hey, how is this my fault? G’ORB: Um, aren’t you the one who I told to fix the abduct-o circle because it was broken? Why haven’t you done that? Z’ORB: There was a fee. G’ORB: There was a fee. Well why didn’t you pay that fee? Z’ORB: It was going to cost me an arm and a leg. I couldn’t pay. T’ORB: That’s a quad in the pun receptacle. (A quad goes into the pun receptacle) Background Voice: PUN RECEPTACLE! G’ORB: I’ll go get the ladder. (Kon is tied up in a torture chamber and the orbs are there) Kon: Where am I? How did I get here? G’ORB: You’re in our torture chamber, and you’re here to tell us how your band gets lyrics for their songs. Kon: Oh no it’s you guys! Forget it! I’m never going to tell you how we get lyrics. That our secret and you guys are just going to have to get your own lyrics. G’ORB: Tell us how to write human lyrics or face the probe! Kon: You’ll never break me! (The probe points a bunch of deadly weapons at Kon) Kon: GAAAH! Okay! Okay! I’ll tell you! We don’t write our own lyrics. We steal lyrics from Corey’s sister Trina’s diary. I’ll tell you everything! (Z’ORB comes into the room) Z’ORB: Oh there’s my mixer. Now I can get started on those pancakes you wanted. (Corey, Kin, and Laney are in the cornfield) Kin: Hey, we haven’t spun around to see if Kon was missing yet. We should. Corey: Yeah. Laney: We really should. (Corey, Kin, and Laney spin around and see Kon fall from the sky) Kon: AAAAAAAH! Oof! Corey/Kin/Laney: GAAAH! Kin: Oh no! He’s been abducted by the space orbs! (Corey, Kin, and Laney run up to Kon and Kon gets up) Laney: Kon! Are you okay? Kon: Yeah I’m fine. Kin: What happened when you were abducted? What did they do to you? Kon: Don’t worry you guys. The orbs were really nice. Corey/Kin/Laney: Phew. Kon: All they did was ask me how we got lyrics from Trina’s diary. Laney: What? Kon! We need Trina’s diary. Corey: Relax Lanes. It’s not like they know who Trina is. Kon: Well, I kind of showed them a picture of Trina, and said where she was, and who she was with, and how to get lyrics from her diary like we do. Laney: Oh no! That can’t be good! Corey: We need to get to Trina before they do! Hurry! To Sludgefest! (Mina is with Nick at Sludgefest) Nick: So, you think you’re going to like Sludgefest? Mina: Yeah. I came here because my sister is going to be playing on stage here. Nick: Oh yeah. I heard that a band called the Newmans are going to be here. Mina: Yep. My sister is the lead singer of the band. Nick: Cool. So I’ve never heard of the Newmans before. Are they good? Mina: Yeah they are. They’re going to playing a new song here. I’ve never even heard it before. I’m just going to be cheering them on when they play. Nick: Well, I’m sure they’ll do great. Gum? (Nick gives Mina some gum) Mina: Yes it is! (Trina runs up and pulls Mina away from Nick) Trina: Did you just take gum from Nick Mallory? Why are you taking things from the boy that I LOVE!? What else did you take? Did you take his heart and like … make it beat for you and stuff? YOU’RE STEALING HIM FROM ME!!! Mina: I’m sorry Trina. Trina: Yeah? You’re sorry? Why did you even come to Sludgefest anyway? Is it because you wanted to steal Nick from me? Mina: No it’s because you forced me against my own will. Trina: Yeah? Any other reasons why? Mina: I just came to see my sister play her show. Don’t be mad at me. Trina: An I, a my, and a me all on one dialogue block. Selfish much? (The Newmans are backstage getting ready for their performance at Sludgefest) Carrie: Okay Newmans, are we ready to rock or are we ready to roll? Konnie: We’re ready to do both Carrie. Kim: We’re also ready to make our band become amazingly famous after we play here at Sludgefest. Lenny: And we’re also ready to make our band a bigger and better band than Grojband and leave them in the shadows while we become amazing. Carrie: That’s the spirit Newmans! We are so going to become a bigger and better band than Grojband after we destroy them in our “battle of the bands.” Kim: Yeah, there’s nothing stopping us now. Lenny: Except for one thing. We don’t even have lyrics for a new song yet. Carrie: Now don’t worry about it Lenny, I’ve already got the whole thing covered. (Carrie pulls out some lyrics for a song) Carrie: I stayed up all night writing this. They are perfect lyrics for a new song. All we need to do is rehearse this, so we can play it and destroy Grojband with awesomeness. Konnie: Wow Carrie. These lyrics are great. They are so going to beat Grojband! Carrie: So what are we waiting for? Let’s get ready to destroy Grojband! Carrie/Kim/Konnie/Lenny: YEAH! (The orbs are up above them disguised as stage lights) T’ORB: These “The Newmans” seem like suitable husks. We must begin the delicate body snatching procedure. (G’ORD immediately jumps out to possess the Newmans) G’ORB: PROBLORB JANKG’ORB T’ORB: Ugh! He has the patience of a tetrahedron! (T’ORB, Z’ORB, and N’ORB jump) Carrie: Wow. We sound amazing. Kim: Yeah. I can’t believe it took us such a short amount of time to rehearse. Konnie: And now we’ve already got the song down perfectly. Lenny: How were we able to do all of this though? Carrie: I guess that’s just how perfectly awesome my lyrics are. For once, I just know we are going to stop being the second best with Grojband being the best. Now, we are finally going to become a bigger and better band than Grojband. Nothing is going to stop us now. Nothing! (The orbs possess the Newmans) G’ORB/Carrie: Ha! We have successfully possessed the bodies of the Newmans. Now we have human limbs and we can play music on stage. T’ORB/Konnie: I still think we should have gone through the delicate body snatching procedure. That would have been a lot safer. G’ORB/Carrie: Oh but that way is no fun T’ORB. Z’ORB/Kim: Well, I guess now we should get ready to beat Grojband in our battle of the bands. All we need now are some lyrics. N’ORB/Lenny: And I guess all we need to do is use the ones that Carrie wrote. G’ORB/Carrie: What you mean these? Uh-uh We’re not using these. (G’ORB tosses the lyrics away) N’ORB/Lenny: But G’ORB those are some really good lyrics! Z’ORB/Kim: If they were going to work so well for the Newmans they would work just as well for us. Why can’t we use them? G’ORB/Carrie: Because Z’ORB, we came here to get lyrics from Trina’s diary and so that’s where we’re going to get the lyrics from. We’re not going to use Carrie’s lyrics. T’ORB/Konnie: But Carrie’s lyrics would work so much better for us! G’ORB/Carrie: Nope, we came for lyrics from Trina’s diary so we’re going to get lyrics from Trina’s diary. N’ORB/Lenny: Well then how do you suppose we get her lyrics. G’ORB/Carrie: This human’s brain tells me that her sister Mina, is best friends with Trina and with her at all times. So wherever Mina is, Trina is there too. Z’ORB/Kim: Then how do we know where Mina is? (G’ORB pulls out Carrie’s phone) G’ORB/Carrie: I’ve got her communication number. Trina: Nick, waiting outside here in this line with you for hours alone has been like the awesomest ever. (The orbs fly by, kidnap Trina, and steal her diary) Trina: AAAAH! Mina! Don’t talk to Nick! (Grojband runs up) Corey: Mina, where’s Trina? Mina: My sister just came by, kidnapped her, and took her into a hug spaceship so … maybe check the mall? G’ORB/Carrie: Attention Grojband. We have disgusting human meat shells and the source for all human lyrics. Prepare to be destroyed Grojband and then prepare to have your world destroyed after. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (The orbs fly away) Corey: They’ve got the bodies of our worst enemies and Trina’s diary. There’s no way we can win this battle of the bands! We’re done for! Laney! Panic with me! Laney: Core, It’s your genius mind that turns the diary words into lyrics. All those stupid orbs have is a book of secret angst. Corey: You’re right Lanes. They have the cereal, but they don’t have the milk. Kon: Their lyrics will be so dry, they’ll shred the roofs of their mouths. Corey: If we let the Orb Experience sing all of Trina’s secrets in front of all of the people at Sludgefest and expose her secrets, she’ll go completely diary and we’ll get our lyrics have wicked lyrics to win the battle of the bands and save earth. (At Sludgefest, Trina comes up to Mina) Mina: Hey there you are where were you? Trina: I don’t know. I don’t remember but there were pancakes. G’ORB/Carrie: Welcome to our battle inferior beings. We are the Orb Experience. Now prepare for a song that will doom your world. I call it Entry 4987 – My secret fear and junk. Count us in T’ORB! T’ORB/Konnie: 1 2 3 4. G’ORB/Carrie: Dear diary, I’m the prettiest ever but even the prettiest have ugly secrets. Let me open my heart to you and admit my secret fear and junk. I’m scared Nick will like Mina more than me and without him to bandage my bleeding hear, I’ll be alone forever and junk. Thanks for listening diary. XOXO hugs! Beat that Grojband! Trina: I wrote that! Mina: Why did Carrie read your diary and do you really think Nick could ever like me any more than you? Nick: Nick can imagine how embarrassed you are. Trina: What a joke right? So funny right? Ha .. ha ha ha … ha ha HA HA HA! Hee hee hee hee hee. Ha ha ha ha HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!! (Trina goes into diary mode and Corey gets the lyrics) Corey: You said beat that right? (Grojband plays the song) (Song Begins) Corey: My secret is out But I’m not gunna cry or pout I’m gunna show them all What I’m all about And turn this whisper into a shout! Kin/Laney: Shout! Corey: If our mind can’t be erased At least we’ll kick your butts back to outer space Cuz it’s our turn to rule the stage So don’t get in our way. We’ll either win this thing Or destroy the human race Playing like we’ve never played to rock a killer show Kin/Laney: Show! Corey: Cuz if we don’t We’re all toast All: Toast! (Song Ends) (After the song ends) Corey: Well it looks like we won in our battle of the bands against The Orb Experience and The Newmans. Kon: We got both of them done at the same time. Kin: That sure is awesome. G’ORB/Carrie: Fine! I guess you win meat pile. We’re not going to destroy your world. Your world has a mighty champion and that’s you. Corey: Thanks. They totally know that already, but I’ll tell them that. G’ORB/Carrie: Alright orbs, I guess we’re done here. Let’s ditch these bodies and go. (The orbs leave the bodies of the Newmans leaving the Newmans sleeping on the ground) Z’ORB: I don’t suppose I need to say I told you so but I told you so. G’ORB: Oh yeah? Well your pancakes are dry! (The orbs leave and go home; The Newmans wake up) Carrie: Huh? What? Where … Oh yeah the play! Guys wake up! Wake up! Kim: Huh? Lenny: Whuh? … Konnie: Duh … Wha? Carrie: The battle of the bands with Grojband at Sludgefest? It’s started! Konnie: It has? Kim: Oh my god! Lenny: Lets get started! Kim: How did we get to sleep? Carrie: I don’t know Kim. Who cares right now! Let’s just go! (The Newmans zip up on stage) Carrie: Hello everyone. We are the Newmans! Now prepare to hear the most perfect golden lyrics in the world. Count us in Konnie. Konnie: 1 2 3 4! Carrie: (Deep breath) Audience: BOO! YOU GUYS STINK! YEAH GROJBAND DID WAY BETTER THAN YOU! GET OFF THE STAGE YOU NO TALENT FREAKS! (Everyone in the audience starts throwing tomatoes at the Newmans) Carrie: GAAAH! Hey what’s going on here? We haven’t even started yet! How do you know what our song is like? What’s going on here!? Stop! Corey: I think that I should explain this. Carrie, there were these evil alien space orbs who we got into a separate battle of the bands with. We thought that we didn’t have time for both band battles so we just made both of them both into one. The orbs possessed your bodies and they played music in disguise as you guys. They played a very horrible song about Trina’s secret diary angst and you guys lost to us. Carrie: But that wasn’t our real song. This is our real song WE SHOULD HAVE A CHANCE TO PLAY! Corey: You lost your chance because of the orbs. Carrie: But this was going to be the only time we would ever beat you at anything! We had perfect golden lyrics and our golden opportunity to play these golden lyrics and finally beat you losers at something and become a bigger and better band than you got ruined! BY YOU AND YOUR STUPID BET WITH THOSE STUPID ORBS!!! Corey: Yep. I guess so. Guess you won’t be needing this anymore. (Corey grabs the lyrics and throws them into a paper shredder) Carrie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Carrie starts violently crying and sobbing in depression on the ground in great pain) Lenny: Wow, Carrie seems to be very hurt by this. Kim: Yeah, she doesn’t seem okay at all. Konnie: Do you think she’ll be okay. Kim: No way. She is way to hurt by this traumatic moment. She is not okay. Lenny: She’s probably not even going to survive she’s so hurt. (Carrie keeps painfully sobbing half to death) Konnie: So you want to go and grab some lunch? Lenny: Yeah I heard that those aliens made some pancakes. Kim: Oh that sounds good let’s go. (The Newmans leave Carrie alone in a great and horrible depression) Laney: So Core, still think battling alien life forms was a good idea? Corey: Of course Lanes. We won but we really shouldn’t be battling other bands. The only real band battle is with the band inside ourselves. The band that’s beating the drums of our large intestines and strumming the guitar strings of our hearts. If you take on that band, you always win and you’ll love it too and if you love yourself, then that’s all that really matters. Having fun and loving yourself. Laney: Core! Those would have made some great lyrics! We could have used those at Sludgefest instead of going through all that trouble to get them from Trina’s diary! Corey: I guess I had those lyrics inside of me the whole time. Now we don’t need to get lyrics from Trina’s diar-GULP! … BUUURP! Nevermind. It was just indigestion. Thanks for coming out everybody! (Corey closes the garage door and it ends)