Smash Up Terby

Smash Up Terby is the first episode of season one of Grojband.

Synopsis
Grojband has booked a gig at the carnival derby, but they don't have anything for lyrics. They have the idea to anger Trina to make her go into Diary Mode so they can use what she wrote for lyrics. Trina is at the carnival derby with Nick Mallory and Grojband decides to anger her by ruining their date.

Plot
The episode begins with Grojband working in a new song in the garage. Corey comes up with an idea for a song and sings it. He sings a song called "Butt Crack Neighbor" which is about the neighbor next door who is trimming a hedge and his butt crack is showing. Everyone else laughs at him for it. Corey rants about how he stinks at writing lyrics. Laney comforts him by telling him not to let the pressure get to him, but then she begins to yell about how the pressure is on. She tells him that the carnival derby starts in an hour and they have gig booked there and they have no lyrics for a song. Corey tells them not to worry because he still has enough time to come up with good lyrics for a perfect song. Just after he says that nothing is going to stand in their way, he opens up the car door and Trina is inside of there looking angry at them. Trina tells them that their dad is going to make her drop them off at the carnival, their going to have to follow her rules. Trina gets into the car with Grojband and she calls Mina on her cellphone and she demands her to come over. Mina immediately zips into the car next to Trina in less than a second after she calls her over. Trina unamusingly asks her for something else, and Mina immediately remember what she wants and she compliments her on her hair. Trina thanks her as if she didn't know she was going to do that and drives off. When the garage door is open Kate and Allie are standing there screaming and cheering for Grojband. Trina drives into them and they quickly jump out of the way. After they get up, they text each other about how happy they are that they almost got run over by a car that Grojband was in and they scream in happiness.

Trina continues recklessly driving down the road and crashing into other people's cars and yells in rage to all of them for it as if they were the ones who were driving recklessly. Kin asks Corey what they will do for lyrics if they survive long enough to get to the carnival derby. Corey tells him that Trina always has something written in her diary that is perfect for making lyrics, so he tells Kon to go and distract Trina while he steals her diary from her purse. Kon willingly talks to Trina about how he is a professional fireman in a video game that he is playing. Trina screams in disgust because he's talking to him. Meanwhile, Corey sneaks up into the front seat, steals her diary from her purse, and slips back into his seat undetected. Trina pulls her car up to the concession stand while Corey flips through the pages of her diary looking for some good lyrics, only to come across some useless entries. Just then, Nick Mallory pulls up in his motorbike next to them. Trna notices him and she talks about how much she loves him. When Nick Mallory starts to notice her, she quickly tells everyone in the car to get down so that it will look like she's the only one in there. She starts talking to Nick and Nick asks her if she's coming to the carnival derby. Trina starts rejecting it until he says that he loves carnival derbys and then she changes to accepting the fact that she's going there. Nick Mallory leaves to go get tickets and a bunch of girls all rush up to his motorbike and start hugging and kissing it. Trina grabs Mina and tells her that she is going with her on her to the carnival derby with Nick Mallory so she can make him fall in love with her. After they get out of the car, Grojband high fives each other.

Nick Mallory buys some tickets from the consession stand and Trina quickly rushes up there and buys some for herself and Mina. Meanwhile, Grojband thinks of a way to anger Trina into writing in her diary and giving them lyrics. Trina gets onto a spinning ride with Mina and Nick. Their first plan is to mess up that ride to ruin her time with Nick Mallory. Corey goes over to the fuse box and sets the speed to the highest setting making the ride wildly spin out of control causing Trina to vomit all over the other people on the ride. As they all get off, everyone is covered in vomit except for Nick Mallory who is sparkling clean. Nick tells Trina that she could use a mint, angering her and raising hopes for Grojband getting lyrics until she takes a mint and cleans her barf off of herself using Mina's tongue. This calms Trina down preventing her from having any freak outs.

In the next scene, Trina and Mina are riding on a rollercoaster with Nick. Kin and Kon rig the tracks of the roller coaster to make them go up really high to the point where it's in outer space. They go on that track and when they get to the top, they go straight down at an extremely fast rate terrifying Trina and making her scream in fear as her cotton candy flies up and gets stuck to her face. Kon floats by in his space suit and takes a picture. Nick Mallory sees the picture and asks Trina about her "beard." Trina tries to act normal about it and pretends that she actually has one. Nick Mallory walks away thinking that it's weird. Mina takes out a razor and asks is she should shave it off. Out of rage, Trina grabs the razor from Mina and shaves her hair off preventing her from using her diary for anything. Laney gets into a panic and tells Corey that nothing is working and that their plans are turning out to be a complete "wreck" which gives Corey an idea and he runs off to put his plan into action.

Corey, Kin, Kon, and Laney all work together and enter Trina's car into the smash up derby. When Trina sees this, she becomes furious and is on the break of going into Diary Mode when Nick comes up and tells her that he's entering the derby too. This makes Trina happy and she forgets about her anger toward what's going on and plays along with it instead for Nick. The derby starts and the cars all take off. Instead of having her car ruined, Trina does really good at avoiding everything as well as Nick. Trina sees this as a date while Nick thinks that he's in a race. At the end of the derby, Trina and Nick's cars are the only two cars left and they are forced to take each other's cars out. Hearing that she has to go against the boy she loves, Trina finally loses her patience and goes into Diary Mode. After that, Corey steals her diary and they quickly take her diary entry and put it into words for their song. While Trina and Nick face off in the derby, Grojband sings the song Tire Tracks. At the end of their song, Trina and Nick run out of gas and their cars gently tap each other instead of crashing into each other and a heart-shaped puff of smoke comes out. The crowd cheers from Grojband and applauds their amazing song.

After their song is over, Grojband is waiting to go home. Kate and Allie come up to them showing them how much money they made selling unauthorized overpriced Grojband merchandise. Corey happily looks at how much money he has and Trina yanks it away from him claiming it her own. Laney asks Corey if he has any idea for his own lyrics. A spotlight comes out of nowhere and shines on Corey and tells a moral he learned from all of this. Surprised, Laney tells Corey that his moral was so profound that he could have used it for lyrics. Then Corey says "Thanks for coming out everybody." and closes the garage door ending the episode.

Major Roles

 * Corey Riffin
 * Kin Kujira
 * Kon Kujira
 * Laney Penn
 * Trina Riffin
 * Mina Beff
 * Nick Mallory

Minor Roles

 * Kate Persky
 * Allie Day

Quotes

 * Corey: What? No good?
 * Laney: No, but a surprisingly lower case no.
 * Corey: Swearsies? Cuz you know I'm case sensitive.
 * Laney: Swearsies. Caps lock was way off on that no.


 * Trina: Mina! Here! Now!
 * (Mina immediately zips in)
 * Mina: Already here.
 * Trina: ... And? ...
 * Mina: ... And uh ... I love your hair Trina.
 * Trina: Aw. Thanks Minski.


 * Kin: So even if we do make it there alive, what are we going to do for lyrics?
 * (Kin puts face into Corey's face)
 * Kin: Corey?
 * Corey: Don't worry you guys. Trina's always got something juicy written in her diary just ripe for the plucking. Getting lyrics is going to be easy, peasy, lemon sqeezy.
 * Kin: Great, now I want lyrics and lemonade.


 * Corey: Kon, you distract Trina while I grab lyrics from her diary.
 * (Kon licks hand and slicks hair back)
 * Kon: With pleasure. So Trina, did I ever tell you that I am a volunteer firman, in a video game that I am playing currently?
 * Trina: Ew! It's talking at me!
 * Mina: I think you're supposed to stop, drop, and roll or something?
 * Trina: That's when you're drowning, duh.


 * Corey: Okay guys, time for the Grojband unity chant. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
 * (Everyone yells out different things at the same time)
 * Corey: Go Grojband!
 * Laney: Go get em!
 * Kin: Grojband is cool!
 * Kon: Dreams are weird!

For the full transcript, go here.
 * Allie: Check out how much money we've made selling unauthorized, overpriced Grojband merchandise!
 * (Kate and Allie open up a case full of cash)
 * Corey: Hey! That's a lot of dough-re for me!

Songs

 * Butt Crack Neighbor
 * Tire Tracks

Trivia

 * This episode is a shortened version of the Grojband Pilot.
 * This episode was Todd Kauffman's favorite episode to make.
 * This episode is called Smash Up Terby because of how Trina mispronounced Derby as Terby when talking to Nick before her car was entered into the smash up derby.
 * Out of all the episodes, this is the episode with the most gross-out humor.
 * Corey was singing a song about his neighbor's butt crack.
 * The next door neighbor's butt crack was showing and it zoomed in to a detailed close up of it.
 * Kon pulled Trina's finger making her fart.
 * Trina sarcastically asked Mina if she was a sewer rat.
 * Corey was reading through Trina's diary and one of her entires was about having diarrhea in class.
 * Nick lifted up his armpit and a rainbow and some flowers came out in Trina's fantasy.
 * Trina vomited all over herself and everyone else on one of the rides.
 * Trina used Mina's tongue to clean the vomit off her face.
 * One of horse lyrics in the song Tire Tracks. Corey said "Kiss my derrière" and Kin played the keyboard with his butt.
 * There were other things that were in the pilot episode, that were cut from this draft either for time or for being too raunchy.
 * A bird egg was shattered, and a crying bird fetus fell dropped out and hit the ground.
 * Kon was sprayed in the eyes, causing his eyes to become bloodshot and to bulge out of his head.
 * Kon ate something in the trash which he thought was a burrito. He ate it, only to find out that whatever it was, it wasn't a burrito. It was never revealed what it was.
 * A portion of the cut lyrics from the song were "You made me puke up my food. Egg burrito! How crude! I hope that carney likes cleaning now."
 * Monster of Rock comes in second place for most gross-out themed episode and is a pretty laudable competition. These two episodes happened to be the first two episodes every produced.
 * The man running the spinny ride in this episode appears again in the episode "Super Zeroes."
 * When Kin is on the walkie-talkie with Kon, if you look really closely in the background, you can see a silhouette of Party Danimal and Chloe holding hands. They are also seen twice when Kin is looking through his binoculars.
 * In the episode "It's in the Card. Party Danimal and Chloe were seen dating.
 * When riding on his motorbike, Nick Mallory was seen wearing a white helmet with a blue stripe on it. However, in all the future episodes where he was riding his motorbike, he was seen with a red helmet.

Episode Connections

 * In this episode, Grojband did a unity chant where everyone said something different and Kon was the last one heard speaking when he said "Dreams are weird!" This was later referenced to in the future episode Queen Bee when Grojband did a unity chant where everyone said something different and Kon was the last one heard speaking when he said "Sweet to sour and sour to ... Uh ... Queen Bee?"
 * Both of these scenes were followed by a wicked cool transition based off of what Kon said.
 * In this episode's Diary Mode, traffic cones and tires were seen spinning around Trina. This same diary mode sequence from this episode would be reused in Indie Road Rager where the same thing would be surrounding her.

Errors

 * In this episode, Nick Mallory said a sentence where he didn't speak in third person. When Nick goes up to Trina after she got cotton candy on her chin, Nick Mallory said "I didn't know you had a beard.
 * When Kin was playing the keyboard with his butt, his hand was missing.

Production Notes

 * This is the pilot episode of Grojband.
 * Although this is the pilot episode, this episode did not air as the first episode, it aired as the fifteenth episode instead, making Cloudy with a Chance of Malt Balls the first episode to air on TV.
 * This is the episode that Todd Kauffman and Mark Thornton sold the show with.
 * The Grojband Pilot is a twenty two minute version of this episode that was shortened to this ten minute Leica for time.
 * The pilot also features an extended version of the song Tire Tracks.
 * This is the only episode with three writers.